This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
