I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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