Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
