No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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