The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
