i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
