i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
