you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am naked and annoyed.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
