my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
