I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
