He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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