i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
