North Korea, Best Korea!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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