I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
