My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
