My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have already put on my inside pants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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