woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
