Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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