He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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