She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
two words...techno handjob
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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