evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
