And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
