im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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