What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
