Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
