She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
