What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
