She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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