sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
