the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
