i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
