I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
