How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
