does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
