hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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