You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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