Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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