she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
