I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
