why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love you.
Bad choice
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
