hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
