All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
