dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
