my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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