I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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