i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
