Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
