Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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