Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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