it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
