We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
